I woke up the other day and found that my life, my child's life was slipping past me. I woke up and there was this pretty, to intelligent for her own good, 15 year old standing in front of me wanting to go on a date. Where have I been? Thank you God I woke up when I did. What have I missed? What has Emily missed?
Distraction seems to be a key focus of my life. What was I thinking to get three dogs??? Sometimes Lord I wish you could intervene. Keep me from doing the stupid things I do. Though, wait.... (Mercy stop pawing at the door! Just wait! Just wait.). To start a project or anything for that matter and actually complete it would be.. would be.. I don't know, I haven't been able to do that since I got..... (Mercy get off of the ottomen!) Ok, where was I? Oh, actually starting and finishing a task. Well, point made.
How much time have I missed with my precious daughter because of those three decisions (Riley, brother McKenzie 11yrs. & Mercy 6 yrs.) Lord what was I thinking?? (McKenzie, stop barking and get off the, Mercy off of the couch!) Sigh. Anyone want a dog? chuckle.
I wonder. If I added up all of the time I have spent tending to, cleaning up & after, letting in and letting out, not to mention, puppy training, Ceaser Millan books/shows, driving long distances to get their expensive food, (that of course is the only food the boys, Riley & McKenzie can digest) and just plain focusing on these three. If I added all that time. How much would it be? Time I could have giving to building a better relationship with the one person who matters to me most. The regret runs deep my friend. Ahh, ok, it makes more sense now. There is my sleep. That regret is enough to make you run to the bottle, the TV and any other escape at hand. Because now this 15 year old & I live in the same house, with no real relationship. Escapism has only intaginized that relationship. When will I learn Lord? Please Father God, open my eyes so that I can see what I can do now to change and change my relationship with my precious gift from You, my Emily. Mercy! Stop pawing the door! Sigh. Anyone want a dog?